I gotta be honest here- I feel like I’ve hit a wall in the last week. I was definitely all geared up for my birthday (or birthweek, as I like to do it). Then, for my birthday, I got a cold. Thanks, germy little buddy!
All three of us have been sick for a week now- more or less. More than being physically ill, though, it’s the loss of momentum that’s got me in a rut.
First, Max was sick and had lower energy than usual, so I took a break (and kinda enjoyed it… bad mama) to take care of him. Then, I got sick, so I gave myself a pass on housework. Then, we were all sick, so all bets were off. And then came the rain.
The fact is, if I’m not motivated to keep up with my daily duties, there will always be ample excuses to flake. And the more I flake, the easier it becomes. The term ‘downward spiral’ comes to mind.
This is actually something that I’ve struggled with on my spiritual path. When is it slowing down for a much-needed respite? When is it laziness? When is it accepting my flaws? When is it enabling them?
You see, when I opt out of my sadhana, my chores, proper nutrition, etc., things becomes less and less clear. And by ‘things’, I mean my mind. Confusion and delusion rule the land. In my altered state, I lose sight of the big picture (i.e., some of what I’m experiencing is karmic, cosmic, and not all about me), stumbling into the wasteland of separateness consciousness- the land of the ego.
‘I‘ll eat five bowls of cereal today and watch Netflix all day… for me. It will make me feel good. It’s what I need. I need this break. I deserve it.’
CONFUSION AND DELUSION.
Let’s put this out there right now, my ego- the ego- is entirely invested in making me believe I’m living on an island. Because on this island, the ego is king. It’s a ‘king’ like Denethor, Steward of Gondor– a place-holder who resists being replaced at any cost. A usurper.
The moment that I turn my gaze from my spiritual focus, the ego sees an opportunity to get a foothold.
Lucky for me, the remedy is quite simple. I’m going to meditate now. I’ll tell you how it goes… 😉
Check out these ideas for avoiding the sicky trap this holiday season. No excuses!