Well, ummmm…. Happy New Year! Happy Solstice! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Merry Birthday! Merry Grinchmas! Merry Un-birthday, etc. In other words, end radio silence. Back to life, back to reality.
And… here we are. Every so often, I need a ‘technology fast’. What can I say? I’m sensitive. And maybe a little bit old-fashioned. I harken back to the pre-digital days- when cell phones weighed more than chihuahuas and if you updated anyone regularly on your status, you probably did it in person. Reality TV? Uhh… like, ‘Unsolved Mysteries’?? I really loved that show. I watched it every Wednesday night… maybe because every now and then there were segments about yetis and extra-terrestrials and stuff. Maybe.
My point is, I get overwhelmed with all of this ‘virtual’ connectedness from time to time. When I created this site, I sought out channels of inspiration that I could pass along to… interested parties… anyone who would listen pretty much. Or not. I guess I wouldn’t have changed much at all if I knew no one was listening at all. I’m just one little girl shining her light the best she can. I aim to be. I created this forum for that reason.
And then… whoa!!! Ask and you shall receive. I was inundated every day with so much guidance. So much information. I was stunned. Totally like… ‘Wow! This is so easy! Finding inspiration… it’s like the job does itself.’ It really did, and I was just the messenger. Imagine me a divine fax machine shooting out memos to y’all- like… L O V E. That is all.
I L O V E it. And still, I’m feeling ‘overwhelmed’?? I need a technology fast? A general hibernation? For Christmas and New Year’s? Yes. Especially. 2011 was such an epic year. So much change. Ready or not. How could it not? I have a small child. He grows and changes from day to day. Like… ‘did you get taller overnight??’ In fact, I would say, he began the year as a baby and finished it as a boy.
At the beginning of 2011, I set intentions for 1.1 through 7.1. I was looking back through those as I set my intentions for the new year. Two things were clear… 1) I knew that 2011 was the year for finally completing my yoga teaching certification. 2) I also knew that 2011 was the year that my boy would get another year older. And he did. When I reflect on last year, I see my little man moving forward with gold stars all the way. Like… potty-trained himself. Became BFFs with his first actual babysitter. Asked to start school. He’s a gift.
When we found the right school for him, I was told he could begin on 12.1 or 1.1. And I clung to my baby like a big ol’ baby. Maxim has been my full-time “job” since I was 7-months pregnant. I am so blessed. It’s the greatest job I will ever have. Hand to heart. I thank God for it. I also thank God for the intervention 18 months ago to remind me that YOGA is the answer, no matter what the question is. Not just a reminder- a push. It all came together beautifully. I am starting this new phase exactly where I need to be. But still…
Maxim is starting school on Thursday. He’s totally ready for it. I’m still working on it.
And on top of that, my BFFL- my partner in crime, my partner in…basically everything- he got a job in 2011 that marked another huge transition. We had a magical life for years and years. We were together… always. Masters of the Universe. Like kids.
So, ‘that’ guy, he took time off for the end of the year. Hari Hari. Every day for nearly two weeks, I got to hang up the phone and connect face-to-face. With real people! My favorite ones!
I gotta be honest here- I feel like I’ve hit a wall in the last week. I was definitely all geared up for my birthday (or birthweek, as I like to do it). Then, for my birthday, I got a cold. Thanks, germy little buddy!
All three of us have been sick for a week now- more or less. More than being physically ill, though, it’s the loss of momentum that’s got me in a rut.
First, Max was sick and had lower energy than usual, so I took a break (and kinda enjoyed it… bad mama) to take care of him. Then, I got sick, so I gave myself a pass on housework. Then, we were all sick, so all bets were off. And then came the rain.
The fact is, if I’m not motivated to keep up with my daily duties, there will always be ample excuses to flake. And the more I flake, the easier it becomes. The term ‘downward spiral’ comes to mind.
This is actually something that I’ve struggled with on my spiritual path. When is it slowing down for a much-needed respite? When is it laziness? When is it accepting my flaws? When is it enabling them?
You see, when I opt out of my sadhana, my chores, proper nutrition, etc., things becomes less and less clear. And by ‘things’, I mean my mind. Confusion and delusion rule the land. In my altered state, I lose sight of the big picture (i.e., some of what I’m experiencing is karmic, cosmic, and not all about me), stumbling into the wasteland of separateness consciousness- the land of the ego.
‘I‘ll eat five bowls of cereal today and watch Netflix all day… for me. It will make me feel good. It’s what I need. I need this break. I deserve it.’
CONFUSION AND DELUSION.
Let’s put this out there right now, my ego- the ego- is entirely invested in making me believe I’m living on an island. Because on this island, the ego is king. It’s a ‘king’ like Denethor, Steward of Gondor– a place-holder who resists being replaced at any cost. A usurper.
The moment that I turn my gaze from my spiritual focus, the ego sees an opportunity to get a foothold.
Lucky for me, the remedy is quite simple. I’m going to meditate now. I’ll tell you how it goes… 😉
Check out these ideas for avoiding the sicky trap this holiday season. No excuses!
“You’re the only person responsible for the decision to generate a vibrational match to your desire to be seen as a kind human being, and you can begin to notice when you feel out of sync with that desire: You can cancel an unkind thought in midstream and in an instant decide to be harmonious. You can stop yourself at the moment you’re cursing somebody and elevate your thoughts to kindness.”